Stay in your own lane!
I decided to participate in Terri Creeden’s workshop about being brave both out of curiosity and because the following question in the event’s description intrigued me:
Do you find yourself turning down, delaying or hesitating on actions in your work or life that feel risky?
Of course I do!
Hesitation is like second nature to me. Why do I hesitate so much?
Because, I feel alone in my personal arena, alone with my vulnerability: I figured that out during the workshop. As I figured out that there will always be critics, judgments and shame (my mother used to tell me that you can’t expect to please everyone). But there will always be supporters as well! You can’t expect not to please anyone…
I thought what Terri explained was really interesting and thought provoking. My attention was at 100% captured by her speech and the funny stories that she told about herself.
Thinking about the workshop on my way home, a dialogue with myself started: “Who are you, dude, to criticize me? Have you ever been through the same situation? And how did you come out? But… wait a second… I’m judging you the same way you’re judging me!”
I realized that each of us owns a story. We need to receive empathy from others, but we also should be able to feel empathy for others. We all do our best all the time, still we will be criticized or judged. Instead of reacting with angriness, frustration or whatever, let’s try to understand why some people criticize or judge us… as we criticize or judge other people.
Terri gave a useful advice:
“Focus on your goals and stay in your own lane”
(don’t stop looking at what the others are doing or you will lose ground). I would like to add a statement I once read on a Chinotto bottle:
“Those who follow others never come first”
Yes, there will always be critics, judgments, and we will still feel shame. Thanks to Terri’s workshop, from now on I will try to figure out before who can be seated in my arena and where. This way I’ll be better prepared when I enter it. And I’ll keep in mind that there are no failures, just opportunities to learn (the only failure is when you refuse to learn).
Author: Arianna Corti